Marly Hort, also known as The Divorce Lady, has a very clear mission: to make divorce as painless as possible. She has been helping people use divorce as a breakthrough for rediscovering themselves and much better lives for many years. We had the opportunity to sit down with The Divorce Lady herself, and get her perspective on this difficult time and how to turn it into something positive.
“Divorce is a phase when you feel lowest on most of your resources – emotional, financial, social. Ironically, that is also the phase when you need to be in charge of your resources the most. Undoing a marriage can be exhausting with its legal, financial, housing and child custody battles, as well as many other difficult aspects to manage...not to mention lost love and dreams. Legal advice is required, of course, but people need much more than that. That’s where I come in –I think of myself as a coach, as an advisor, as a guide and a companion,” Marly says.
Fluent in four languages (Spanish, English, Italian, French) Marly has successfully seen her clients through high-conflict, ugly, expensive, dragged out divorces. Having been through three divorces herself, she understands various aspects and nuances of the process. She is able to relate with her clients in a way that a lawyer or a therapist may not.
Unbiased, realistic support
“I like to think of myself as a guide who can give you the best advice regarding all aspects your life through and after divorce: how to get the best out of your time with your lawyer, how to approach child custody, how to work on your emotions, how to work on your health, how to rebuild your life after divorce –personally and professionally. My purpose is to bring clarity in your practical decision-making, while supporting you emotionally. Since I don’t have any emotional investment in the situation, unlike your family and friends, I can provide you with unbiased, realistic support. And of course, I’ve been there. I know how it feels!” Marly explains.
Marly considers her empathy, as well as her ability to remain pragmatic at the same time, as her biggest strengths. Although divorce is a personal journey, having an understanding expert by one’s side makes it a lot easier. According to Marly, there are times when people need to work with their emotions, and times when they just have to be strong and get done what needs to be done.
Building the right team
Many going through divorce are concerned about the impact of the process on their professional lives. Divorce can reduce work productivity by up to 20% (see Marly’s article on Divorce in the Workplace). During this period, many people have a difficult time balancing personal issues, professional lives, and everything that is needed in order to finalize a divorce.
In order to help, one of the keys to Marly’s success is building a team of highly competent professionals to handle all of the aspects surrounding divorce. With her years of experience, she has access to an extensive network of resources, including lawyers, accountants, tax consultants, therapists, career consultants, and even image consultants and personal trainers. By finding the right experts, she helps her clients to increase their chances of obtaining the best possible outcomes.
Still believes in relationships, in spite of it all
Despite all of the difficulties that relationships can entail, Marly still believes in love and marriage. She encourages her clients to give themselves time to go through this transformation. Once they are through the divorce process and ready to move on, they may want to think about dating again. Doing so could be intimidating while still adjusting to changes roles, but Marly coaches her clients though this phase, motivating them to look at life after divorce as a new beginning.
Marly herself comes from a tough background. Originally from Nicaragua, where hurricanes, earthquakes and volcanoes are a part of life, she fled a civil war and had to start her life all over again in the US. As a student in Nicaragua, she had majored in economics, while minoring in math and physics. Then, while waiting in the US for the war in Nicaragua to end, Marly decided to continue her studies at UCLA. Having lived through seriously difficult situations, Marly feels that divorce, like each “rough patch”, could be seen as a new opportunity.
“I truly believe that divorce is a break up and not a break down. It doesn’t have to be! A beautiful turning point, yes, that it can be,” asserts Marly, a great believer in the power of the human spirit to learn from experience and bounce back, even stronger and wiser.
Marly can be reached through her website: TheDivorceLady.com.
